Thoughts on the New Year

 As I sit thinking about new year’s intentions for 2021, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for one thing 2020 has brought me: time in this enchanted forest so close to our home. John and I have spent countless hours hiking together in Karura this year and it has been therapeutic and so, so good for my soul. We have hiked and talked and processed this insane year together. Our time in Karura has ultimately brought an already close couple even closer in a really hard and trying year. 

As we were hiking a few days ago, I began to think about what my new year’s resolutions should be for 2021. Usually, my new year’s resolutions involve travel and connection and reading and lastly, something to do with changing my body or being healthier. Now, in the last few years, these resolutions have definitely been more positive and less negative than they used to be--ie less about losing weight and more about feeling good. I have been on a real journey of learning to love and care for myself better and in healthier ways. As we were hiking, I told John, I wish I could find some sort of movement that I really love and enjoy the way you love climbing.

Movement, for me, has always been about punishing my body and making my body less in some way and so therefore, I have never loved to move. And, as a child (and honestly now), I much preferred books and imagination to pretty much anything else. My mom would literally force my brother and I to go outside and play. When we did this, I would just read my book while walking and sometimes ran into trees. Moving my body has always felt more like a chore and something that I should do, rather than something I actually want to do. I have spent almost 29 years worrying about my body and trying to change it to fit some mould that society has told me I need to be--thinner, straight lines instead of curves. What a waste of time and brain power! Hello, earth to Rileigh, you are never going to have a small butt! I could’ve probably invented something interesting or created some real change in this world with all of that wasted time. It has truly taken me 28 or 29 years to realize that I am beautiful and that my body is worthy and good. 29 years! 

But, this is what happens when you’re congratulated when seeing family only when you are thinner than the last time they saw you--never for being the clever, funny woman that you are--only when you take up less space on the couch than last time. This is what happens when magazines feature only one type of woman. This is what happens when the women around you only speak negatively about themselves or congratulate others for being "skinny." This is our culture. I do think this is changing slowly, but man, it is still so easy to get sucked into the negativity.  

So, I would like to challenge myself (and the women that I know) to make resolutions and intentions for 2021 that are more about honoring our bodies, loving our bodies, finding what feels good for our bodies, rather than making our bodies less, a smaller number on the scale. I want to feel alive in my body and trust her. I want to find her favorite movement and practice it. My body is so, so good and so strong. My body has taken me all around this beautiful world. My body has such a strong intuition. She tells me when something is wrong, she notices when others are hurting. She is beautiful and makes a great pillow for my husband on the couch. My hands draw pretty things and my brain thinks and wonders and worships-- what magical things our bodies are! Created with love, just for us. How can you better honor, trust, and love your body in 2021?